Ahh, the workplace email - our digital battlefield. A place where punctuation is scrutinized, CCs are weaponized, and tone is everything. Nothing is sacred in this minefield.
Among the many phrases that haunt our inboxes, one stands alone. Not just a tool, but a weapon. Sharp as a freshly sharpened paperclip. Colder than the office AC in January. The true embodiment of the “Most Valued Employee” plaque.
Enter:
“Per my last email”
Let’s be clear: this is not a gentle reminder. This is not a helpful nudge. This is not a patient prompt.
This is corporate for:
"I already told you this. You just ignored me. And now I’m coming for you in your inbox."
The Origin of the Phrase (Probably)
Historians and linguists haven’t officially weighed in, but the likely origin of “Per my last email” was necessity - specifically, the necessity to not yell in all caps during business hours.
It’s the professional way to say:
“Todd, please scroll up before I lose it.”
Used correctly, it's the email equivalent of smiling while slowly pushing your mug labeled “World’s Most Patient Employee” off your desk.
Variants, Ranked by Level of Spite
Why get stuck with one flavor when you have options? There are many forms of the infamous phrase, each with its own spice level. Here are a few you may recognize:
“As mentioned previously...”
🔥 Spice Level: Medium
Translation: This is your second warning, Todd.
“Just circling back...”
🔥🔥 Spice Level: High
Translation: Like a shark. With a calendar invite.
“For your reference, please see below.”
🔥🔥🔥 Spice Level: Ghost Pepper
Translation: I have receipts, and I will attach them. In color. With arrows.
The Power Move: Tone + Formatting
Sometimes it’s not about just winning the battle - you want to win the war. It’s time to drive this point home. Seasoned email warriors know that this phrase hits hardest when paired with perfect punctuation and a polite, almost unsettling emoji.
“Per my last email 🙂, the deadline was March 14th. Let me know if you need me to resend the original attachment.”
This is corporate diplomacy at its finest. Subtle shade. Glorious confusion. Devastation in Helvetica.
When You Get Hit With It
Well, well, well. So you’ve received the dreaded phrase. What now?
Step 1: Don’t panic.
Step 2: Resist the urge to reply with “I didn’t see that.” It only fuels the fire.
Step 3: Respond with the neutral classic:
“Apologies for the oversight - thank you for the reminder!”
Then quietly vow to read every email from this person with the intensity of a lawyer reviewing a merger contract.
Use It Sparingly (But Still Use It)
Look, “Per my last email” is a tool. A weapon. A sharp, glittering sword of passive-aggression. And with great email power comes great responsibility.
Use it too often, and you’re That Person. Use it strategically, and you’re a legend. A hero that nobody dare tussle with. Like any warrior, you must learn the ways of mastery. Maybe you’ll trip and accidentally use it when you indeed failed to provide the information being asked of you.
But that’s okay. Stumble, falter, but most of all, keep hitting them with it.
Final Thoughts
So next time you’re tempted to scream into the void because someone asked for the same attachment for the fourth time, don’t. Take a breath. Crack your knuckles. And type it out with pride:
Per. My. Last. Email.
Then hit send... and walk away like the digital ninja you are.
Did this post hit a little too close to home? Share it with your team (especially Todd) and follow our forum for more! And don’t forget to check your sent folder—you might be someone’s origin story.
