In a world… where time is precious and calendars are double-booked… one crime continues to haunt open offices and remote teams alike.
This is: Meeting That Could Have Been an Email: A True Crime Series.
Episode 1: “The Case of the 30-Minute Check-In That Ruined a Day”
It began at 9:01 a.m.
No agenda. No objective. Just a calendar invite titled “Quick Sync.”
Ten people joined. Two spoke.
Eight sat in silence, questioning every decision that led them here—including taking this job.
The meeting ended at 9:31 a.m.
Not a single decision was made. But Debbie said, “Let’s circle back,” three times.
We’re still waiting on the circle.
Episode 2: “The Slide Deck Massacre”
They told us it would be a "brief presentation."
It was 74 slides.
With animations.
Each bullet point arrived like a ghost of productivity past.
The presenter read every single word. Out loud. Slowly.
The only thing that died that day... was morale.
Episode 3: “Who Called This?”
A rogue invite appeared. No host. No agenda. No mercy.
We all joined out of fear.
Nobody knew why we were there.
Some theorized it was summoned by an ancient Outlook glitch.
Eventually, we all quietly left. But the invite remains.
Recurring.
Every Tuesday.
Episode 4: “The Reply-All Spiral”
It started innocently—a request for availability.
Then came the replies.
All of them.
Each one a digital scream into the void:
"I’m free after 3!"
"Can’t do Thursday."
"Just loop me in on the notes."
There were no notes.
Only despair.
Episode 5: “The Great Mute Mystery”
It was Jan’s big presentation. Or... it would have been, if Jan wasn’t muted the entire time.
We watched her speak with passion, gestures, and what we assume was a compelling argument.
No one told her.
We just stared.
Haunted by politeness.
Coming Soon:
“13 People, One Google Doc”
“Survivor: Budget Review”
“Zoom Fatigue: The Reckoning”
Final Thoughts
If your meeting could be replaced with a 3-line email, it probably should be.
We’ve lost good hours—great hours—to "quick chats" that turned into "soul drains."
Let us honor the fallen—our missed lunch breaks, our forgotten thoughts, and our will to live—with this sacred chant:
“This could have been an email.”
Stay safe out there, friends.
And always decline suspicious invites.
PS: speaking of invites, you are invited to see more funny content over at our forum!
